Too Long...

It has been over 3 weeks now since I last heard from Charlie. I miss him like crazy. I try not to complain too much about him being gone, or missing him. I mean, I'm dating a Marine, I knew what I was getting myself into, and going through deployments is in the job description. I'm ok with the deployment, I'm ok with the distance and I'm even ok with not hearing from him for days on end. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him.

I try not to worry when I don't hear from him for a few days. The longest we've gone without talking, prior to this spell was only a few days. I always knew a phone call was coming soon, within a couple days, but now I'm lost! I have no idea when the next call will come, I hope it's soon, but I just don't know. Charlie always asks me not to worry about him when I don't hear from him for days on end "no news is good news," and I'm actually pretty good about the not worrying part. Why sit around stressing myself out over something I have absolutely NO control over

Most people I talk to about Charlie say "I don't know how you do it?!?" or "I would worry myself crazy!" or " I could never do that." I know that I can get through this, mostly because it's not an "I" thing, it a "we" thing, and I know for a fact Charlie and I can get through just about anything if we do it together. I may not get to hear from him as often as I would like, but I carry him with me every day, and he's in my thoughts every day. There isn't a decision I make during my day that doesn't involve his input, even if he isn't there to give it.

When I get frustrated at work I can hear him telling me "stick up for yourself, you don't deserve to be treated like that," when I want to crap out on my workout for the night I can hear him pushing me to keep going "only one more mile" or "10 more push ups, you can do it." He's my moral compass, my subconscious voice helping me through my days. Its his love, and our companionship, that lets me know, even when I don't hear from him, that everything is going to be ok.